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Kotex: Tips for Life

Posted by sanhedralyte on Thursday, October 2006 at 5:08 pm
Dear Kotex,

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my panty liner had a bunch
of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:
- Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
- Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
- Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling
fresh.
- Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never
possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating
woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling
fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...
but go ahead... I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what happens and
report back. I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the
chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-damn-tee you that the first
responders will be females who just ovulated.

Staying active will relieve headaches and cramps... well guess what, the
only activities that interest me are eating... sleeping... bitching or
crying for no apparent reason... and oh... does ripping someone's head
off count as a friggen' activity?????

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine
hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like
that from elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted
their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol and
barbituates.

Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was
already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and is
enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.

It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley
faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the
packaging. Put the crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in
our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer.

There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package
announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya
just add an in-store microphone to the damn package and announce that...
Helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!!

So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies and the smiley faces
and shove them right up your ass!

P.S. How about adding a free sample of Pamprin and maybe a shot of
Vodka to your packages instead?

Princess

What the hell...

Posted by charl23 on Monday, October 2006 at 11:38 am
...is wrong with my stupid body? Now, I'm having another period this week? WTF? At least I'm not having cramps that are putting me through the roof, like I did last week. Yet. Dang, I guess if it stays all messed up for a few more cycles I'll ask my OB/GYN. *sigh*

Princess

Nummers!

Posted by charl23 on Monday, September 2006 at 2:39 pm
Mood:: surprisedsurprised
I just tried new Hershey's Kisses Truffles. They are delish and pack a major chocolate wallop! Check 'em out next time you need a lot of chocolate bang for your calorie-buck!

Princess

Oh joy!

Posted by charl23 on Sunday, September 2006 at 4:23 pm
My period came a week early. *snarl*

Princess

Here we go again...

Posted by charl23 on Thursday, September 2006 at 2:02 pm
Mood:: whatever
I can hear the click-click-click as my car mounts the first hill of this month's emotional hormone roller coaster. Umm, whee?


see and look for

From the warped minds of bella_butterfly and angellabout2sin

Posted by angellabout2sin on Wednesday, September 2006 at 2:27 pm
Mood:: sillysilly
A memorandum, to the Supreme Being, regarding celebrities and their desire to go commando.

we have warped senses of humor. you have been warned

MemorandumCollapse )

cheers!

A special day. . . .

Posted by angellabout2sin on Saturday, September 2006 at 10:27 am
for our fantastic founder, the lovely sanhedralyte

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Hope you have a great day!

Grrrr..

Posted by scriptchick on Thursday, September 2006 at 4:36 pm
I am just itching for a fight right now.  It's a fight that's long over due, with a formidable opponent.  She's completely gone overboard this time - and I say this time because there have been several encounters.  And I've always held my own - but now  I'm going to friggin OBLITERATE her.

Ya know when you're itching for a fight and the person says, fine, call me.  We'll hash it out.

For me I'm so anti-confrontation, I tie myself into knots before picking up the phone.  So this afternoon, after tying myself so tight, I picked up the phone.





And the wench wouldn't answer.  Or couldn't answer.  It's besides the point.

I WANT TO HAVE THIS ARGUEMENT RIGHT NOW!

:: fumes ::

Posting pictures of shirtless men is strongly encouraged

Posted by bella_butterfly on Wednesday, September 2006 at 10:55 pm
So I did!
oh yes..mama like!Collapse )

Voodoo *is* fun! I'll call this one Heffer

Posted by bella_butterfly on Monday, September 2006 at 12:26 pm


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